Evaluating Your Relationship With Your Partner – Understand Your Reality and Make Changes

June 13, 2010
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A young woman and man embracing while outdoors.
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By Renee Pullman

How do you know if you should stay in your relationship? At one time or another every person in a relationship will ask that question. Maybe it’s just the doldrums or maybe there are real problems that you have been denying and now you should face. Perhaps you should spend time evaluating your relationship. Come to some conclusions, make decisions, and take action.

You shouldn’t take any decision like this, about your relationship lightly: a solid relationship is one of the most important and valuable things in any ones life. Ending a relationship without trying to nurture it and make it work is not good. Likewise staying in a bad relationship or staying in a relationship too long is not good.

A therapist can be of immense help in evaluating your relationship but many decide to do it on their own, here are some guidelines to seed your evaluation:

  1. Do you fear your partner? If you do it is a sure sign that your relationship is not healthy. You shouldn’t be even the tiniest bit fearful. Relationships should be love based and where love is present fear cannot live.
  2. What is the power distribution in your relationship. The more evenly that the two of you share power, the better your relationship is apt to be. You should both be in the relationship because you want to be and not for reasons like, “I don’t have enough money to leave.”
  3. Is your partner dangerous. I mean can you trust them not to bet the house or the food money. Can you trust that he not engage in physically dangerous activities.
  4. If you could have anyone in the world would you choose to be with your partner.
  5. Do you feel like your partner encourages and supports you in the things you want to do? Alternately, does your partner belittle you when you seek to advance, improve yourself, or take on new challenges. Is your partner secure enough with himself or herself to cheer you on, or to help with some of your tasks so you can devote time to your pursuit. If not, are they really being the supportive person that you need. While you consider, do they actively help or is it just lip service.

As you evaluate your relationship with your partner keep these things in mind. It is easy to get off in some rationalization but if you come back to these questions they will keep you grounded.

Evaluating your relationship takes courage and honesty but it can bring you big rewards. It maybe you will discover a few things that need tweaking and those little things will move the relationship from OK to great. I invite you to discover more great relationship techniques at http://www.TheMagicOfMakingUpFast.com.

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