Is your relationship rocky, on the brink?  Do you want to save it?  There are things that you can do: it may not be the easiest thing you’ve ever done, however, if the two of you pull together it is possible to stop a relationship break up.

Here are three ideas to get you on the path to reconciliation:

1. Find things that you and your partner can agree on, stop just looking at what your partner may be doing wrong.  Fixating on a particular issue will not lead to a solution.  Look at what is good, but blame away, and work together to find solutions.
2. You’ve heard the saying, “walk a mile in my shoes (or moccasins): it means trying to put your self in the others shoes and seek to understand their point of view.  This doesn’t mean you have to agree on their position but rather that you try to see where they are coming from.  Your partner needs to feel understood and that they have a right to feel the things that they feel.  Failure to do this will cause your partner to become defensive and shutdown.  This is not a perfect process but making the effort to understand is one of the most important things that you can do for your relationship. 
3. Learn ways to communicate, often we don’t understand each other and we speak in a way that actually blocks the communication.  Take a step back and try to see what is happening in the situation, then come back and try to work together on a solution.It’s never too late to try and stop a relationship break up as long as both of you truly want to make things work and are willing to make some changes.  I know you hear it all the time, and that’s because it’s true, communication is the key to any good relationship and that is the place you have to start.  Learn to talk and listen instead of scream and hear.

You can stop a relationship breakup if you work at it with understanding.  Communications is vital, we often speak but are not heard.  This can happen because the background in our minds is different from our partners.  We come from different viewpoints and the words mean different things to us than they do to them.  Learn to understand this and when the one you love begins to argue, stop and figure out a different approach.

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Marriages break up for lots of different reasons.  Sometimes is is a compounding of issues, problems built up over a long time, problems not fixed but festering.  In this situation it is tough to fix the relationship but in most cases it is usually something simple, something stupid that goes wrong and reconciliation is possible.  But no matter what the situation is there is a real possibility of getting your ex husband back.

Every situation is different and in the same way one solution will not work in ever case, however there are some common things that help a lot of people and will probably help you as well:

1. Make the decision, do you really want to get back with your ex?  Was there abuse in the relationship?  If ther was abuse you don’t need to get back into it.  Whatever your reasons for getting back together you need to be sure that at the root of it is that you love him and that there was more good  than bad in your relationship.  Don’t just go back because you are lonely or insecure.  You need to understand what busted you up and have a plan to fix it.
2. You and your ex will need to be committed to addressing your own issues and to working to rebuild the relationship.  Are you willing to make changes?  Are you willing to meet each other half way?
3. If you are serious, you must also give up blame.  We all like to be right, we like to be the ones receiving the apologies, and maybe we deserve them.  But reconciling is about forgiveness too.  We must admit our mistakes and honestly try to fix the behavior or attitudes that contributed to the breakup.  It is time for each partner to understand his or her part in the break up.

A good marriage is two people who work together, two people who like, respect, and love themselves and each other.  In a good marriage the sum is greater than the parts.  Two people working to build a life together can accomplish wonders.  On the other hand there is no quicker path to self-destruction than two people at odds with each other, trying to hurt each other, with no respect, liking, or love.  Two people living selfishly and not contributing to each other.

Keep these things in mind if you want to get your ex husband back.  It takes time, as George Harrison sang: “a whole lot of precious time to do it, to do it now…”   Knowing what to do and doing it lovingly, patiently, and together and you might be  together much sooner than you would have thought possible.

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It has been said over and over again that men and women communicate differently. And so it is when there is a breakup. You hear one thing from her but she is really saying something else. Sometimes it is a test, sometimes it is difficult to tell what it is. Many women are emotional and say things that perhaps they don’t mean – they create great psychodramas with explosive content. Men are not without blame here either. They may pick up on the last hurt they felt in the relationship and tossing it back in their own word-bombs and a break up may happen.

Breakups aren’t always forever, in fact most can be recovered but you have to understand the dynamics of what is going on: learn to bust the psychodrama. It’s time to grow up. Many men are focused on themselves when a break up happens and all they can think of is their loss. This is understandable but will not bring them their girlfriends back. Here are some things you can do to bring about a reconciliation.

1. Allow her a little space, give here a chance to learn what things are like without you. She probably won’t like being alone, miss the closeness and intimacy. It is important that she feel this but you don’t want to leave her in this state very long or she will start looking elsewhere.

2. Don’t call her, let her know that you can live without her. Allow her to understand that you are prepared to move on. You may be dying to call her but hold off for awhile.

3. Likewise avoid sending flowers, love letters, and such. Let things ride for about a week.

4. After a week, if she hasn’t made contact you need to. As stated you don’t want to let things go to long, you don’t need someone else moving in. Send a casual email and see how things are with her – be friendly, not gushy.

5. If things don’t begin to open up with her stay in touch by phone, email, Facebook once or twice a week. Don’t overdo it. You want her to have enough space to allow her to think of the good times with you. Why she was originally attracted to you.

6. Don’t stalk her but you might occasionally show up somewhere where she hangs out. Say hello but be prepared to talk to others.

7. Be sure to send a card on her birthday if that falls within this time and if there is an important date between the two of you you might send a short note or card telling her what it means to you.

8. After a month or so you should evaluate where things are. Is it time to move on, should you look for a new girlfriend, or is your Ex girlfriend still the one for you?

9. If nothing is happening and you still want her back perhaps you should ask someone else out and then call her to get advice on a good place to go on the date. This will put things firmly on her ground and cause her to think about whether she is ready to let you go.

If things work out she may decide that she wants you back on your terms and that would be wonderful.

During this process consider your part. Often couples in the heat of the moment dredge up all the garbage in their relationships and say all the wrong things. Maybe your family or her family argued all the time and perhaps that is the only way that you have learned to communicate. Consider instead that you have moved beyond that to a new way of first understanding and then speaking. Avoid the things that you know are only intended to hurt when you speak them. Instead speak out of caring, out of love.

Can you get your girlfriend back without a proven strategy? Possibly, but your chances of success are greatly reduced: get your girlfriend back with a proven strategy.

TheMagicOfMakingUpFast.com.

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